Natalie Is Gifted and You Know It
by psychoticbookgirl
Summary: This is a story by the fabulous Natalie Kabra. You know you love her. It is not, however, about Natalie. Sob. It is about Ian and Amy and their undying love. EW One-shot. Love it or die. I have a gun s .


**A Story by Yours Truly, The Fabulous Natalie Kabra!**

PBG: Hey, whoah there Nellie, this is my story!

Natalie: Then why does it say it is written by me? Who is Nellie? I don't know a Nellie!

PBG: _You_ wrote your name there. And you can't have _my_ story!

Natalie: Who says it's yours?

PBG: My profile= my story. MINE!

Natalie: Here's a hundred dollars.

PBG: The story's all yours.

Natalie: And the 39 Clues aren't yours. Or mine. Sigh.

PBG: -sigh-

AND now, The Best Story Ever, by the Perfect NATALIE KABRAAAAA!

"I know, I did write this marvelous story," Natalie said, smiling. Smiling made her flawless face even more lovely. "And now, all you peasants can read it. You don't know how fortunate you all are. Now, narrated by the extraordinary me, my story starts. So read it and love it or I will blast you into oblivion with my dart gun. Go on! Read it! NOW!"

This is where you scroll down very fast to where the story begins so you can live to see tomorrow.

~*`~*`~*`~

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Ian. This boy was 14 years old and quite dashing I suppose, but his looks paled in comparison to his fabulous sister, Natalie. His sister was so beautiful that Angelina Jolie and Heidi Klum got jealous. So beautiful that birds dropped dead into grateful peasants laps when she strode by. So beautiful that...

Well, this story isn't about his amazing sister unfortunately, even though all stories _should_ be about her. This story was about Ian Kabra and a ratty girl called Amy and how they were falling for each other and such. Natalie was appalled that Ian would fall for a dingy American like Amy, but love is as love does apparently.

So one day, after declaring their undying love for each other or something of the sort, (Natalie didn't really care enough to pay attention) Ian locked her in a cave and she cried, oh yes, so sad, boo hoo, because her wonderful darling Ian left her in a cave all because his beautiful sister had told him to. My, what a tragedy. (If you are too stupid to comprehend simple hints, Natalie the Awesome did not think that it was such a tragedy.)

Yes, and Ian was _so_ depressed because he had left his beloved Amy in a cave in Korea, and she was probably going to die or something, all because of him, that he lashed out on his completely innocent, outstanding sister for making him do such a horrid thing.

"We shouldn't have done that, Natalie. It is against the Ten Commandments." Ian nodded solemnly.

"When did you become a priest? And what Commandment does it break?" his amazing sister replied.

"Thou shalt not kill. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor." Ian, suddenly a preacher, said.

"You didn't kill anyone. And since when did we bear false witness against anyone? The only time I've gone to court is when I sued that actress for making a copy of my one-of-a-kind dress, and she _was_ guilty." Natalie reasoned, flipping her shiny hair. She was intellegent as well as beautiful, if it is possible. "Although there was that one time when we sued that cat, Snufflebunny..."

"It doesn't mean you actually went to court, it has to do with lying." he sighed for reasons unknown to even the brilliant Natalie. He glared at her. "This is your fault. It was your idea to lock them in that cave."

"How is this my fault?" Natalie asked. The argument went on, (Natalie the Great won, of course) and Ian and Amy (the dunderheads) saw each other again, but when they saw each other, nothing happened because Amy was afraid he was going to betray her, and Ian was probably afraid he was going to wet his pants because he felt bad about betraying her. (Wimp!) Until one day several years later...

Natalie the Fantastic was in a happy relationship at age 14. He was handsome, she was beautiful, what more is there in life to be happy about? One day when they were strolling on the beach....

Oops... getting off track again...

Natalie the Fantastic _was_ 14, but her relationship isn't what you all came here for. You came here for Ian and Amy, so here goes Ian and Amy, at 16-going-on-17 years old.

Amy paled. She had just opened a letter reading,

_Yo Amester! _

_You just scored an invite to Jonah Wiz-ah-d's 17th B-day Jam! It's a big fancy dinner and junk because J-dawg's Pop wants him to be all civil-like to show another side of the Jonah-ster, so wear formal stuff. More info included._

_Your bro can come too. _

_J-dawg_

_PEACE!_

Amy didn't want to go to the party, but she knew Daniel would want to. He hadn't held a grudge on Jonah after the hunt ended. Poor, dear Amy. She would have to go to a party full of famous people and, worst of all, Ian Kabra. Gasp! So terrible! And worst of all, she'd have to wear a dress. Or at least, that's what she told her nanny. (What's her name? Norma... Nadia... Nina... Nina, I think that's it. Close enough anyway.) Everyone with a brain knows that the only reason she didn't want to go to the party was that Natalie would be there, and she would look like a wilted flower in comparison to the exotic British beauty.

But it didn't matter how much Amy the Dreary didn't want to go, because she and her brother RSVPed "Yes" and two weeks later found themselves outside the door of the banquet hall in the Wizard's mansion.

"Hear goes nothing," sighed Amy. She and Daniel walked through the doors of the hall. Amy braced herself for hordes of reporters and movie stars harrassing them or contradicting them or ignoring them, but the only people in the room were Jonah, the Starlings, (where had they been this whole time?) the Holts, Ian Kabra and Natalie Kabra. Amy admired the lovely Natalie. Oh, how she wished that her looks compared to the gorgeous British girl. Lovely Natalie....

Well anyway, poor dear Amy saw in dismay that the only seat at the table open (Daniel had rushed to sit next to Jonah) was next to Ian. Ian looked very handsome, though he was nowhere near as attractive as Natalie, he was very good looking. So she went to sit next to him and kept her sniveling head down.

"Hello, love." Ian said smoothly.

"G-go away."

"That isn't an option, love."

"Stop c-calling me love!"

"I'll stop when you stop being lovely."

"I'm not going to fall for your lies again, Ian." Amy's voice was dark and heavy. Little did she know that Ian wasn't lying, he really did like her, actually, he didn't like her, he was obsessed in an unhealthy way. The only people who knew this were Ian and the fantastic Natalie.

"ACCH!!" came a girlish scream. Everyone looked up in alarm. "I broke a nail!" Sinead Starling's whiny, nasal voice said. No wonder, it was a cheap fake nail. Everything about Sinead was cheap and fake. Sure, she had more style than Amy, but pretty much everyone did. She drowned her face in makeup, her arms were adorned in silver bracelets that probably cost a lot but were horrible quality-wise. Her dress was made of cheap fabric, easily ripped but luxurious at a glance. Her brothers were the same way, in a male form. Ian and the terrific Natalie, chose expensive, fashionable, but good quality items. They had class.

"So?" Reagan Holt said. She looked rather uncomfortable in a black skirt that looked frightening over her bare muscular legs. Her twin, Madison, looked slightly better but still utterly horrid. The only truly beautiful girl in the room was of course, Natalie Kabra. This was what was expected of course, but those who anticipated this would never have imagined the contrast. There were the hideous Holts, both wearing skirts, but Madison who must have been slightly brighter wore tights so that her legs looked less atrocious. Then they had Sinead, who may have looked decent if she took off about ten pounds of makeup and jewelry and chose a better dress than the awful coral pink bubble dress made from cheap faux-satin. Amy never failed to look ratty, but today after looking at the other atrocities your eyes would feel much better. She at least had a bit more class than Sinead, wearing a dress a few shades darker than her constant companion, Grace's jade necklace. Natalie didn't know why she liked the accessory, it was so clunky and unfashionable. Whatever. Natalie was still the best, of course.

So anyway, they sat at the table having awkward conversations, Sinead arguing with the Holt sisters, Jonah conversing with Dan about Indiana Jones and how Harrison Ford was too old to go back to those movies, Hamilton asking Ian about stupid things, and Amy sitting in silence. She probably was hiding a book under the table.

"Amy, can I talk to you?" Amy looked up. It was Ian. She realized that now everyone was walking around the room, talking and examining Jonah Wizard artifacts, as well as other celebrity-used items and random things like vintage pinball machines. What these were doing in a banquet hall, the world may never know.

"W-well, I..."

"I'll take that as a yes." he helped her up and she followed him over to a corner near a display case containing Jonah Wizard's original Bling necklace. Natalie casually browsed nearby, and just happened to be hidden by a table. That she was underneath. Looking for her contacts. Because she lost them. Hehe...

Okay fine, she was spying on them. For good reason!

Natalie the spectacular can't think of a reason right now, so she'll get back to you on that.

"Look, Amy, I'm sorry, I really am!" He really was.

"You t-took advantage of me once; that's not happening again." Amy said indignantly.

"Honestly, I didn't want to abandon you! It was for the best!"

"How c-could betrayal ever be for the b-best?" Amy's voice was little more than a whisper.

"Look at it this way: we never would have been able to keep an alliance throughout the entire Hunt! Sooner or later, we would have been ripped apart, or someone would have found some way to kill us. We would be each others weakness! Someone could've kidnapped you to get to me, or vice versa. This way, we were both saved a lot of hurt. We still hurt, but less so than what would have happened if we had stayed together."

"I wish I could forgive you, but you b-betrayed me. I'm n-not sure if I could trust you wholeheartedly again."

"Amy, the Clue Hunt is over, Saladin won, we are free to do whatever we want with no one trying to kill us! I have no reason to betray you again. We can start over. No hard feelings." he looked at her hopefully. "Although I'm not sure I could face Saladin again, it's quite an embarrassment to have lost to a cat."

"I... yes. I forgive you." Amy's voice was steadier now, and she didn't stutter. They both smiled at each other like the fools they are, until a siren rang through the hall.

"Is that a fire alarm?" Ted asked.

"What?" croaked Ned, who was of course deaf.

"Yih, about that, well, we're gonna need to keep you here for a while, cuz you are all our enemies and stuff, so, the doors are gonna lock the second I leave." Jonah headed for the door. "See ya later!"

"Okaaaay...." said Dan.

"Let's just jump out the window." Hamilton shrugged.

"Sure." everyone chorused.

Walking off of the estate, some sprinklers went on.

"EEEEEEK!" shrieked Natalie. Her fabulous designer clothes were soaked. Amy laughed. (Curse her, the peasant!) Natalie glared at her. "Well at least I am perfect!"

"There's more to life than clothes, Natalie." Amy said.

"I know, there's money." Natalie replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm not stupid."

"Sh, the guards will probably be here any second! This is awesome! I can practice my ninja skills!" Dan whispered loudly.

"Is your brother mentally competent?" Ian whispered to Amy.

"I'm not sure, to be honest." That was about the smartest thing she said all day.

"UGH! Now my new dress is destroyed!" Sinead whined.

"Put a sock in it sister." Natalie was wringing out her dress. "You should be grateful. That dress is a disaster."

"Hey!" Sinead looked hurt. Natalie smirked. Ah, how she loved hurting people. She looked at Amy and Ian who were kissing in the middle of the sprinklers. Idiots.

The night ended with the sopping children/teenagers calling a few limosines to take them home. Now, a year later, not much has changed. Amy and Dan are still mooching off of Saladin's money, Ian lives nearby so he and his beloved Amy can "hang out", the Holts are still dolts, the Starlings are still... them, and Jonah still thinks he's a gangsta. Natalie is perfect. Would you guess any differently?

THE END

~`*~`*~`*

Natalie: So, what did you think? You liked it right? RIGHT!?

PBG: -sighs- Sorry for the bad story guys, it's a bit of a filler for while I'm working out my Rich Kid's Nightmare isssues. If there are a lot of misguided people who liked this I could do a similar one with Dan's perspective. Your choice.

Natalie: HEY! What do you mean it's BAD?! This story is amazingly well-crafted if I do say so myself! Everyone loves it! And who would want to listen to DANIEL?

PBG: We'll continue this conversation later. Please review the badness.

Natalie: I'm not talking to you.

PBG: Who says I _want_ to talk to you?

Natalie: Um, everyone wants to talk to me!

PBG: Conceited much?

Natalie: I have a dart gun.

PBG: You are beautiful and fabulous.

Natalie: Thank you. Now REVIEW!


End file.
